her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Help me help you realize you are a moron
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
