What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Never joke about your clitoris.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
