Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
