If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
