he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
