Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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