he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
