Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I just found a bag of teeth...
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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