areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
