Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
