bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
