you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
