she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
