We named our party play list daddy issues
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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