he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
