Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
