Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
