He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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