I didn't shave. On purpose
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
