i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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