From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
