So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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