He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
