I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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