so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
