Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
