Sry I called you an 8
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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