Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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