Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
