Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
