the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
