Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
