I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
