Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
