Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
My dick has a subreddit
The power of my boobs compel you
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
