Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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