WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
