god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
