And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I have already put on my inside pants.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
