Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
