She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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