You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
