Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
