dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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