we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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