So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
