hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
