shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Randomize
