did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
