And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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