my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
