I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
